That phrase has eased my soul and angered my spirit…sometimes on the same day. This year, 2020, is the year I really want to FEEL this statement regarding intangible objects…my feelings…in the deepest place of my soul. I want to live this state of being.
Jack Canfield said in the audio version of the book, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne “..well that’s just…so what. The real what is what are you gonna do about it?”. He was referencing the abuse he had lived as a child and how his childhood experience was not benefiting him in the here, today and now. This is the perfect reference for how I feel about the horrors that I lived and my siblings lived in our younger lives.
DISCLAIMER…If someone had said that to me 20 years ago, I would’ve immediately copped a resentment (and kept it) and maybe even have attempted a throat punch…because that person “didn’t know what I’ve been through”. I lived in the victim mentality. But I realized none of the bad stuff was happening today. And we had been victims. I was stuck. I was unable to move forward. I found when I finally made the decision to let go and heal, that I was now responsible for every decision that was made that day forward. No more whipping out then “Blame-Thrower” and wallowing in self-pity. Today, my navigation through my life is different, thank God.
Today is good. And most days are great, if I choose to look at things differently and use my tools. I don’t discount what happened to me. I’ve just changed my view from my perception of what happened with each experience to a different perspective. How can I get a lesson from the mess? What did I learn from it? What skill do I now have as a direct result of making it through that mess? More importantly, how can I use that lesson to improve myself and my life? And the best part has always been, sharing my experience with other women in their journey through a recovery process.
The key to all my lessons on this journey has been acceptance. My friends, Joan and Helen, have always told me that acceptance does not mean approval. It is what it is, nothing more or less. Acceptance means that I have put down the boxing gloves, stepped away from the director’s chair, accepted that there is a power greater than me in charge, and pivot toward the lesson. And the lesson is where I have found peace. And I hope you can too.
Nobody’s Bleeding 